Learning to play again - Adult Play

Learning to play again

“So, it is okay for me to play with dolls?” I sat with one of my adult clients as she began sharing about her childhood that left her feeling invisible. She struggled with an increased drive to be “good” and productive. The truth is that she was no different than many women I have sat with in session. The idea of allow herself to indulge in childlike play bordered on ridiculous.

Individuals that experience trauma or pain during childhood experience an upset in their emotional development. Like a page break in an awkward place of a story. Rereading a childhood of sadness flows as easily as the stretching of an untrained violinist. The younger the child in trauma the less support for emotional wellness. Domestic violence, divorce, poverty, abuse all play major roles in the wellness of childhood autonomy in development. For my client the draw to reengage the childhood was clear and present, but the shame associated with experiencing freedom in her expression held her in continual longing. I knew from my own journey that being drawn to childhood stories, movies, and toys allows an adult to engage the inner child needing to experience acceptance and belonging.

Play is part of the healing process. As adults we get distracted by life and spend far too little time engaging in play. We distance ourselves from moments that spark joy and bury our feelings in importance. We think that by achieving progress our lives hold value. This is far from true and distorts our purpose. Our achievements are reflections of only partial reflections of our existence. The young version of ourselves, our memories, and our perceptions from childhood play an active role in our subconscious that affects our adult selves. Integrating both sides to who we are, the child and the adult, allows the joy from innocence and the strength from experience to co-habitat in our current lives. Play and let your inner child and adult self be friends. Build the towers, do the puzzles, read the children’s books, and yes, play with dolls. Do the things that built feelings of freedom and unconditional positive regard for yourself. Allow joy and strength to be the cornerstones of your healing process.